Weird
Meta Timing: ~late April 2025; Button's about 8-9 months old (birthday is July 30, 2024) Setting: Logan's flat Text Logan, on the couch with a book, rubs the top of his shoulder. Snicket stretches, oozes into a better spot around Logan's neck. "Thanks, fuzzy," murmurs Logan. Snicket flicks his tail into Logan's nose. Logan swats. Snicket /''merps''. "Damn cat." Snicket purrs smugly. A knock at the door. Logan huffs, marks his place with his glasses, glides to his feet— Snicket hooks his claws through Logan's shirt, barely brushing his skin. —crosses the flat, undoes the locks, opens the door. Blinks. A smallish Asian person with a much smaller person in a sling against their chest greets, "'ey, Buttercup." "Blossom?" Logan blinks some more. "You have a /'kid'?" "Nah, I just stole this one on the walk here." Blossom quirks an eyebrow. "You have a /'cat'?" "Nah, this's just a furry hot water bottle." Snicket swishes his tail into Logan's eye. Logan swats. Blossom chuckles. "I thought you /'hated' cats—since that Bay Area thing?" Logan shrugs, tilts his head, 'come in'. "Couch's up ahead on the right." The much smaller person coos. Snicket lifts his head, attends the sound. Blossom strolls inside, kicks off her shoes. Snicket leaps from Logan's shoulders to the entryway table to the floor, saunters to the living room at Blossom's heels. Logan cocks his head, follows. Blossom settles gracefully on the couch. Snicket jumps up beside her, noses at the sling with avid interest. Logan folds himself to the floor next to the coffee table, clears his throat. "So ... kid?" "That Suit wasn't kidding about a breeding program." Logan shudders. "You—" "They 'volunteered' me. Those IVs weren't about treating cancer; they were for making Button." Smooches the smaller person. "Mostly hormones, some drugs, a few vitamins." Logan blinks. Snicket slinks into Blossom's lap, pokes his head into the sling, sniffs Button's face. Smaller person giggles. "'Button'?" "You're scoffing at the nickname part?" Logan shrugs. "It's weird." "Weirder than being impregnated as part of an experiment?" Snicket looks from Button to Logan, flicks his tail, sniffs Button again. "I spent three years punching Kaiju while sharing a brain with my nerd brother." "Okay." Blossom holds up her hands. "You win. That's weirder." Logan smirks. Snicket turns away— Button makes a sad sound. Blossom glances down, strokes Button's nose. "Speaking of Jack ...." —hops from the couch to the coffee table, drapes himself around Logan's shoulders. Logan shifts. "Aren't his kids 'Book' and 'Baby'? How's that less weird than 'Button'?" Logan concedes, adds, "There's Jupiter now, too." "He named his kid 'Jupiter Jones'." "Technically, [[Charlie Darling|his /'wife']] named the kid 'Jupiter /'Darling'-Jones', but [he dreamed about doing it for /'years']." "He's /'gotta' be the biggest nerd on the planet." "Glad someone else thinks so." Button squirms. "Getting tired of being cooped up, there, sweetie?" Blossom eases Button out of the sling and onto her lap. "Wanna meet your Logan?" Button makes grabby hands, staring at Logan with huge, unblinking brown [eyes. Blossom sets Button's tiny feet on the rug. Logan opens his arms. Blossom helps Button toddle—tiny hands tucked in adult ones held above fuzzy hair—the four itty steps to Logan. Button flops into his lap. "He's /'almost' got this walking thing down." Logan snorts, hoists Button more or less upright. Snicket stretches, flows farther onto Logan's front, closer to Button's face. Button looks at Snicket. Snicket looks at Button. Button coos, "Maau." Copper eyes squint. "His name's Snicket—" "Kit!" —says Logan. "He likes you." "Since when do you speak Chinese?" "Since never," corrects Logan. "I speak bean." Blossom snorts. Button squeals, reaches for Snicket with a pudgy hand. Snicket streeetches closer. Button thumps him between the ears. Snicket /''merrows'' plaintively. Button's lip wibbles. "He likes it better when you pet him softly," Logan says gently. "Like this." He demonstrates, first on Snicket— Snicket closes his eyes and purrs. —then Button. Button giggles, reaches again for Snicket, and rubs his head mechanically. Snicket purrs encouragingly. "You're a natural," glows Blossom. "Three years of practice with Jack's kids and his neighbours'." Shrugs, jostling Button. Button wiggles, grumps. "Sorry, bean," says Logan, pressing his forehead to Button's crown. Button coos and nestles against Logan's chest. Logan nuzzles Button's hair. Snicket oozes even closer to Button, daintily sets a paw on Button's head. Button makes a happy sound. "Totally a natural. Blossom leans back, winds her hair around a finger. "Ever want one of your own?" "My lifestyle's never been kid-friendly." Looks up, grimaces. "And there's the whole 'ace' thing." "You don't need sex to have a kid. This's the twenty-first cent—" "Riiiiight. I'll just pop down to the baby store, flash my record and my shiny new mental health sanction, and pick one out." Rolls his eyes. "That'd go /'real' well." Sighs. "Kinda surprised they didn't put a condition on me to stay away from Jack's kids." "They wouldn't do—" 'Seriously?' says Logan's eyebrow. "Never mind." Logan smirks, bobs his chin at Button. "'sides, I need a kid, I can borrow one. Got at least eight to choose from now." Blossom puffs up. "Mine's the best." Logan squints at Button. Blossom scowls, nudges Logan's foot with hers. Logan looks up, smiles sweetly. "You're horrible," huffs Blossom. "Mostly, yea." Button yawns. Snicket mimics. Blossom chuckles. "Why does the Corps—" Logan stifles a yawn. "—need a—" Shudders. "—breeding program?" "'parently the Suits decided they can build better Rangers [than they can find on the street, so they 'encourage' certain couples to have children or, if they're /'remarkable' like—" Logan [blinks. "—me, 'encouraging means fertility treatments, artificial sperm—" Logan pales. "—and a /'lot' of sedatives." Logan sets his teeth. "What?" "They did the same thing to Jack's wife." Glances at Button. "Still trying to figure out if they messed with the bean somehow, too, 'cause the neighbours' two youngest? They act weird." Snicket snuggles closer to Logan's neck, purrs. Blossom greys. "Wha— How?" "Stare at things. Stare at nothing. React together like Jack and I did when we Drifted. Seeing the Button-size one do it's fucking unnerving." Blossom breathes out some tension. "He's not doing anything like that. Yet." "Well, Button wasn't grown in a PPDC city, like they were, ay?" "Nope, thank /'god'. The Narrator made sure of that." Preens. "In fact, Button's officially a Tang. His public ID says he's 'Wei Tang Yun'." Logan raises an eyebrow. "The Narrator's kid?" "Cousin, like, eighteen-times-removed. Me, too. I'm 'Wei Tang Lan'." Grins. "It means 'orchid'." "You picked a flower name. Big surprise." "Makes it easier to remember." Blossom shrugs. "So we're safe with The Narrator. /'No' /'one' messes with Tangs in their territory." "Cool," Logan nods—frowns. "But if you're safe there, why are you here in Corps country?" "I wanted Button to meet you." Twirls her hair around a finger. "Maybe my parents, too. And Bubbles, of course, if we can find a safe way to get close to her. The Narrator's working on it." "I'm sure they'll figure something out," remarks Logan dryly. "Can't believe she's still wor—" Button emits a snore. Snicket aims an ear at the sound. Logan quirks an eyebrow. Blossom sighs. "Noisy sleeper. Doctor says it's nothing to worry about." "Takes after Mum, ay?" Blossom scowls. "If you weren't holding my baby, I'd punch you for that." "I could get used to having a human shield." "You're hopeless," sighs Blossom. Logan grins. "I'm hopeless and I have your baby." Slides to his feet, easing Button against his shoulder. "Getting stuffy in here; let's get some air." Blossom, stands, inclines her head, 'after you'. Snicket leaps from Logan's shoulders to the couch, curls up, tucks his nose under his tail. "Watch the house, fuzzy." Snicket /''frrps''. Blossom steps into her shoes, nabs Logan's keys from their hook, opens the door— Button snuffles against Logan's neck. Logan slips on his footgear, steps through, pauses in the hall. —closes, and locks up. . Taking Root: Weird | Even | Locks | Job | Twenty Questions Category:Logan Category:Snicket Category:Blossom Category:Button Category:Jackson (mention) Category:Book (mention) Category:Baby (mention) Category:Jupiter (mention) Category:Charlie (mention) Category:Logan's flat Category:DCaMP (mention) Category:Ficlet Category:Work in Progress Category:Jupiter Ascending (reference) Category:Kaiju (mention) Category:Jaegers (mention) Category:Pietr (mention) Category:Griet (mention) Category:Rika (mention) Category:Fenna (mention) Category:Liu (mention) Category:Bubbles (mention) Category:Powerpuff Girls (reference) Category:Taking Root arc Category:Ficlets with placement links